r/nottheonion • u/MudiChuthyaHai • 6h ago

CDC team gets sick investigating health impacts of Ohio train derailment; DOJ sues Norfolk Southern

6abc.com

25.6k Upvotes

503 comments

r/nottheonion • u/captHij • 6h ago

Canadian 'paedophile hunter' vigilante group arrested for distributing child pornography

theguardian.com

1.2k Upvotes

137 comments

r/nottheonion • u/hxnstr • 19h ago

Spencer Webb’s girlfriend announces birth of son, Spider Webb

oregonlive.com

15.1k Upvotes

378 comments

r/nottheonion • u/anon493705 • 3h ago

Bay Area police union leader allegedly smuggled fentanyl into US to sell in bulk

abcnews.go.com

121 Upvotes

23 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No_Carpet7125 • 18h ago

2 racing vehicles crash into stolen Charger doing donuts at intersection; 3 injured

mlive.com

716 Upvotes

46 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Frank_Jesus • 1h ago

A Christian store is stocking a Lamb Of God mug unaware they're a heavy metal band, and guitarist Mark Morton is not happy

loudersound.com

• Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/rj2448 • 1d ago

Arizona Dairy Queen on the hunt for missing 15 foot red spoon statue. “I appeal to the person. This spoon is too big to eat anything,” Raman Kalra said. “We want you to bring it back. We will not ask any questions.”

apnews.com

7.2k Upvotes

215 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MomentarilyContent • 17h ago

Missouri Secretary of State proposes withholding library funds over 'inappropriate materials'

kcur.org

417 Upvotes

52 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ethereal3xp • 2h ago

York student uses AI chatbot to get parking fine revoked

bbc.com

20 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JAlbert653 • 22h ago

Dumb phones are on the rise in the U.S. as Gen Z looks to limit screen time

cnbc.com

545 Upvotes

88 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AstroEngineer314 • 23m ago

Two Iranian women arrested for not covering hair after man attacks them with yoghurt

bbc.co.uk

• Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/imaginexus • 18m ago

Australian surf swim club members shocked by ban on nudity in changing rooms and showers

cnn.com

• Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DaveOJ12 • 5h ago

These cockroaches tweaked their mating rituals after adapting to pest control

npr.org

11 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Moug-10 • 5h ago

Marlène Schiappa (French politician) will soon appear on the cover of “Playboy” magazine

time.news

10 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ethereal3xp • 2h ago

FBI offers $40,000 reward for American woman kidnapped in Mexico while walking her dog

nbcnews.com

4 Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MySixSense • 1d ago

San Jose police union exec charged with attempt to import, sell valeryl fentanyl, officials say

abc7news.com

2.0k Upvotes

107 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Jorgyjorg32 • 1d ago

Portland man laughed ‘maniacally’ while chasing pedestrian in stolen $80k forklift, police say

oregonlive.com

464 Upvotes

73 comments

r/nottheonion • u/taafbawl • 2d ago

Chinese colleges are giving students a week off to 'fall in love' as the country struggles to keep its birth rate up

insider.com

55.3k Upvotes

3.3k comments

r/nottheonion • u/YourUncleBuck • 1d ago

FBI: Mandalay Bay shooter in Las Vegas who killed 58 was angry about how casinos treated him

usatoday.com

132 Upvotes

64 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ilikeboyswithglasses • 1d ago

Man forced to leave home after 17 different cars crashed into his property

tmj4.com

185 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Executive Director of the San Jose Police Officers’ Association charged with importing fentanyl

kron4.com

247 Upvotes

31 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kangarooturd • 1d ago

Pope to leave hospital after 'eating pizza for dinner'

nbcnews.com

37 Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/geekman20 • 22h ago

Factory explosion survivor, on fire, fell into chocolate vat

abc11.com

14 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Top-Organization-124 • 18h ago

Questions over 'definition' of 'woman' in sex ed curriculum divide Florida school board

wpde.com

7 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JimDumDum • 23h ago

Pablo Escobar’s hippos make a dramatic move to Mexico

english.elpais.com

14 Upvotes

3 comments

Posts

Wiki

Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
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8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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